I was going to title this “What’s In Your Box?” but we know the kind of traffic that would have attracted.
During my Monday night Dad call, he told me his TV and phone weren’t working. Had been off since 2pm, in fact. I said I’d call and check on it and he was happy with the “good service” he was getting. (Oy, that will bring in more slime, won’t it?)
I called his provider and was told that no one else had reported a problem but it could be one of two things.
A bad battery in his power supply or a downed line.
The first was a simple check – see if there was a light on the power supply box.
Not so simple, tho, when you’re 2 states away from said box.
So I explained my Dad’s age and how I didn’t really want him wandering around the completely cluttered basement, looking for this box that Dad said they didn’t install. I knew it was there but had no idea where.
Please send someone to check on the battery, said I. Yes, I know there will be a charge if it’s something in the house but I DON’T CARE because if my Dad doesn’t have TV or a home phone until I get there later in the week I will slash my wrists with the cable on my circular needle.
I may not have uttered most of that last, very long, sentence but you know I was thinking it.
OK. Techs are in the area. They’ll be there before 9pm. Blah, blah, blabitty, blah.
JUST GET THE DAMNED TV BACK ON!!!!
I get a text that a tech is on his way. I call Dad to tell him and that he should call me when they leave.
15 minutes later he calls and says “They’re gone. It can’t be fixed. The wires are all torn up.”
At this point, and you can ask Tom if you don’t believe me, I may have cried a little.
Another call to the provider, 15 minutes waiting for them to track down tech because his report wasn’t very detailed. OK, no, it’s not in the house it’s outside and there will be no charge unless Dad has been climbing poles and chewing wires.
He hasn’t. He’s just not spry enough.
(Is anyone still reading? I haven’t gotten to the funny part. Unless you don’t have to worry about this type of situation and you’re laughing your ass off, already.)
MY cell phone rings and Tom answers. It’s the tech. He’s down the road at the junction box. Squirrels had chewed everything in the box and were starting to make a nest. (Are these boxes made out of cardboard?) Construction guys have to come out and everything should be better by the morning
Tech guy had to go up the pole to get to the box. Another tech was there as well (great, a witness) because someone else finally reported the problem.
OK. Guy attached to top of pole, looking at box, about to open it.
THE BOX STARTS TO SHAKE.
Guy thinks “Holy *%&*! WTF is going on?”
and a squirrel pops out of the box, staring straight into the face of the tech guy. Tech guy can’t move. Won’t move for fear of deadly squirrel attack.
Finally squirrel dashes off across power lines.
I wish someone had filmed it because THAT, my friends, is just good YouTube.
p.s. TV back on by 11:30 so Dad was able to stay up way too late, get 2 hours sleep and complain that he got up early. I got another text from provider, at 6:32am, letting me know all was well…except that they woke me up with this information.
Everybody sigh with me.