Gather around, little knitters, and

Gather around, little knitters, and prepare for a tale of knitting woe.

A tale of a TRUE Knitiot, if you will.

We won’t use real names. Let’s just call our heroine….Blaurie (my thanks to Al Franken and his brilliant way of changing names to protect the stupid).

Blaurie spend a week working on a chart for a bag she was making. Because she just CAN’T do things the way they were intended.

She likes to spice them up…KICK them up, even.

She toiled, and she knit. Fingers cramping. Hair falling out. Not noticing her husband’s infected leg. Never stopping to make dinners. Letting dust bunnies frolic under the couch.

You see, boys and girls, when she did the chart for the front – HER CHART – she followed the chart in the magazine. 91 stitches and 73 rows. So intent, was she, on following the chart that when she finished the 73 rows, she bound off.

Finally she was finished with the front of this stupendous project.

And the villagers rejoiced.

She was ready to start on the back of the project. But she needed to check the original to see how large the back should be.

And she waited 2 days until the horrible Electric Meter people told her that rates were low enough to do the wash (the weekend).

She felted her bag front and then spent 3 hours snipping the floats, pulling, stretching, snipping, etc., so that it would relax.

Then a great ogre came into her house.

Here comes the really UGLY part. Send your children from the room….

HOWEVER, she didn’t see the instruction that said that when you’re done with the chart (73 rows) continue until you have 33″ of knitting.

And at that point, our brave little knitiot, Blaurie, realized that she messed up very badly and would need to do the whole front over.

Her binding off wasn’t the problem, even though it left her 14″ shy of the proper size.

But when she felted the front, it left her with no options.

There is a happy ending, though, if you are enough of an optimist to believe so.

She ordered 18 skeins of the main color, instead of the 15 stated in the instructions. So there just MIGHT be enough to do the back and front without ordering more. (I DID say optimist, right?)

And the colors only used about 1/4 of each skein so there would, if the knitting gods are paying attention to her and will ignore the foul language that was used between the hours of 2pm – 5pm, be enough to re-do the front.

AND her wonderful friend (from the far-away land of Massachusetts), Peggy, suggested she use the “boo-boo” and sew it on as a pocket. Either to the back or the inside. Blaurie liked that idea…

And the villagers rejoiced, again.

But, please, gentle knitters, let this be a lesson to you.

Always read the instructions…the WHOLE INSTRUCTIONS…and before you do something you’ll regret, RE-READ THE DAMNED INSTRUCTIONS.

(and for our French speaking friends…FIN)

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