Category Archives: Dad Tales

Another Month…

Posted on by

Where did January go? Here’s a quick round-up:

Dad – Still not settled anywhere but has had multiple trips to the hospital. His mental state has declined and he is now a “problem child”. This limits which places might consider accepting him. We’re visiting him when we can but he’s farther West from his house, and visiting hours are very limited. Visits are not a happy time.

SIL – She’s still hanging in and is surprisingly “sharp”, considering all of the pain medications she is on. She’s stubborn (in this case, it’s a good thing) and my brother is with her almost 16 hours a day keeping her company, helping to feed and turn her. I’m pretty sure he’s keeping her going, since the hospice care doesn’t seem as wonderful as the place my Mom had been. The hospital she is in is much farther East on the Island so a trip to visit her isn’t the same trip that we can see my Dad.

Today is the one month anniversary of their wedding!

Wes – He’s great and thanks you for asking.

Image

Dad’s house – Doing the best we can, seeing as it’s only me and Tom (with an occasional hand from a friend) trying to clear a whole house. As near as I can figure, it takes at least a week to do a room – the basement is a whole different ballgame. Taking into account that we can’t stay in the house and I don’t drive at night, that means only about 6 hours a day for working there (when I’m there by myself). Hotel bills are gonna be huge and we can’t really spend more than a day or two at a time, because of Tom’s work, chiropractor and doctor appointments. The lawyer’s office keeps asking if we’ve put it on the market yet. That kills me.

Garden – I have catalogs but still no room in our garage for seed-starting. Anything that I may want from Dad’s is living in my garage.

Knitting – I’m still knitting and, right now I’m working with some friends on a Super Secret Knitting Project. (OOOH! Cryptic!)

That’s about all. I don’t spend a lot of time on my computer but I’m always doing stuff on my phone. Twitter, G+, Instagram, texting,Email. I’d love to hear from people other than thru the blog…since I’m really slacking in that department. I don’t Facebook.

Here’s my take – and I’m stealing the quote from someone else so I’m probably messing it up:

“I want the message, just not the medium.”

I think about my blog a lot but there’s really nothing new going on. Like I said last time, I’ll try to be better about posting but…gah…

Will I Ever Come Back

Posted on by

Today, after his being there for 9 days, I got a phone call that Dad will be discharged from the Rehab/Nursing Home (RNH). It’s not because he’s ready to go home but it’s that – they say – he’s refused therapy and is violent. There’s a “three strike” rule with Medicare that if you refuse therapy 3X, they will no longer cover any part of your stay and you’re responsible for the full payment amount. (Insert stomach flips here)

They don’t have to tell ME that the man is difficult but I would hope that this type of facility would be able to deal with a grumpy, depressed, stubborn, old man.

Also, during his time there, they’ve sent him to the local ER, twice. The second time was because he’d been given the wrong drug at the Psych ER the day before to help him get thru a CAT scan, and after they sent him back at 3:30 in the morning, the RNH couldn’t rouse him.

Dad says he’s done therapy, taken his pills and isn’t violent. He’s got Broca’s Aphasia (this was the Psych ER resident’s diagnosis) and gets frustrated when the words in his head can’t make it to his mouth. It makes him curse and clench his fist but I don’t believe he’s ever threatened anyone – I’ve seen it for 2 years and he’s never taken a swing at me.

So while I’m trying to get out of the house so I can request important information for Medicaid purposes, I get the above phone call.

Those that are close to me know that I’ve been hanging on by a thread. It’s been 3 years since I learned of my Mom’s Cancer & I haven’t really even had the time to mourn her death. I’m dealing with all of the paperwork; speaking to Dad multiple times a day (this never is a happy, bonding experience) as well as paying Dad’s bills and doing his grocery shopping, traveling from PA to NY every week – and only recently every other week – and the stress has been practically non-stop thru-out.

People tell me to “calm down” and “don’t worry” but if your house is ever on fire, see if that kind of advice is helpful to you.

I can’t sleep, yet I don’t want to get out of bed. The butterflies in my stomach don’t leave much room for food. My Chiropractor is having a field day with my neck.

Back to today.

Tom was at work and so worried about me*  that he called Jane and asked her to just come over and be with me. By the time she arrived I had taken an anxiety pill and was starting to ease up on the tears. We decided to giddy-up and make the 75 minute trip for that paperwork.

Here’s how it went:

She had parked behind me and I said it wasn’t a problem because there was plenty of room for me to get around her…and I promptly put my car into reverse and hit her car.

There was no damage so we continued on.

I almost hit 2 cars while looking at the map in her hand – both times were at stop lights and stopped a little too close for comfort.

We found the bank and went in. I gave my spiel and was asked “Why did you close your accounts?”

At this point I’ve heard this question three times over the past 2 days and you have to know where this is going. I looked at her and said “I hate your bank.”  I did add on the other reasons but I’m not sure the clerk cared.

When we left I was stopped at a traffic light and then put the car into reverse, instead of 1st gear. Luckily no one was behind me.

At this point, I wonder if I’ll ever “come back” and be the person I was 3 years ago, or will I continue to cry at the drop of a hat, sigh like a 90 year-old and have no energy to cook or clean.

OK. I don’t really care about the cleaning part but you know what I mean.

 

*Tom has been amazing thru all of this. The fact that my Dad can’t push his buttons is a HUGE plus. He is my rock.

 

Someone Get On It

Posted on by

Dad: “I need a covered pan.”

Me: “Another one?”

D: “No.”

M: “You mean a frying pan?”

D: “Yes.”

M: “OK.  I’ll get you one. What size? 10-inch?”

D: “Yes. But it has to be a Farkle* Green pan.”

M: Heavy sigh. “You saw it on TV?”

D: “Yes.”

This conversation has been repeated at least 4 times in the last year. Dad watches so much TV that he can’t help but get sucked into those damned infomercials and no amount of convincing will have him just change the channel.

He will now obsess over this Farkle* Green pan for the next 2 months, making me insane, until I become a weeping mass of a woman and Tom will have to blot me off the floor.

Also? Dad never gets the name right. So when I finally give in, I can’t find the freaking Farkle*, anyway.

He has driven me crazy over some amazing ceramic cooking knife -which by the way is AWESOME, as long as you don’t buy the TV one.  I had to get 2, so I’d have one.

If someone could come up with a TV “Infomercial Block”, like the child block, I’m thinking that they’d make a million.  I, for one, would pay to stop those phone calls.

Here’s the ground work so someone can pick up from this point:

Work it so that when these ads come on – not the 2-minute commercial type but the half-hour, screaming you into submission type – the screen will go black for a second and then soothing music and beautiful scenery will either make you change the channel or lower your blood pressure for a while.  Kind of like that scene in “Soylent Green”…which I saw…in the movies…because I’m that kinda old.

Millions, I say.

*Farkle really isn’t the name of the pan but I used to watch “Laugh-In”, too.

O L D